Dumbest conspiracy theory ever?

Quite possibly:

“Nicolás Maduro is implicated in the death of Kobe Bryant up to his eyeballs, because he [Bryant] was planning to recognize Juan Guaidó [as president of Venezuela] and to give him a reception in his home. It had to be said, and I said it.”

“I deleted it because the tweet didn’t accomplish its purpose and was misunderstood. I apologize to my followers.”

Meanwhile, the actual cause of death is the privileged stupidity of attempting to travel by helicopter when all other aircraft, including those of the local police, were grounded by heavy fog and poor visibility.

Meanwhile, Juan Fucking Guaidó is STILL not, in fact, president of anything.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Good to Know, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Dumbest conspiracy theory ever?

Guess who Donnie’s biggest fear is…

Have you guessed it already? If not, let David Doel fill you in:

Lev Parnas’s legal team really deserves a big chef’s kiss for that recording, BTW. Maybe Bernie will give it to them after he wins the primaries. Because this puts the final nails in the “electability” coffins of all the media darlings, including ol’ Uncle Shoe-in-Mouth, Joe Biden.

Donnie also fears socialism, as well he should. Socialism would be THE DEATH OF HIM. Politically and economically, at any rate. Physically? We can only hope.

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Quotable: John Oliver on “checks and balances”

…or shit and salad bars, if you will:

And by this token, the Repugs are the irresponsible parents, who can’t seem to toilet-train their toddler OR stop him from crapping all over that damn salad bar.

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Merry Old England, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Quotable Notables, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Quotable: John Oliver on “checks and balances”

Music for a Sunday: Don’t bother asking for explanations

And you follow till your sense of direction completely disappears…

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Hillary puts her foot in it (again)

Open mouth wide, insert Ferragamo — Her Royal Clintoness has (mis)spoken. David Doel breaks it all down:

Yeah, that happened. Hillary forgot who busted his ass to help her win the popular vote by a full 3 million votes (only to lose the Electoral College), and lied brazenly about Bernie, who’s been on the right side of history ever since his ass got busted while protesting for civil rights. The chutzpah is unbelievable.

The 2016 election was a shitshow in more ways than one. And it was a battle of the gargantuan egos, too.

And now I’m not at all sure that the more obscenely bloated one took the prize.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't It Ironic?, The Bern, The United States of Amnesia, The WTF? Files | Comments Off on Hillary puts her foot in it (again)

Quotable: Victor Hugo on guillotines

“We may be indifferent to the death penalty, and not declare ourselves either way, so long as we have not seen a guillotine with our own eyes. But when we do, the shock is violent, and we are compelled to choose sides, for or against. Some, like Le Maistre, admire it; others, like Beccaria, execrate it. The guillotine is the law made concrete; it is called the Avenger. It is not neutral and does not permit you to remain neutral. Whoever sees it quakes, mysteriously shaken to the core. All social problems set up their question mark around that blade. The scaffold is vision. The scaffold is not a mere frame, the scaffold is not an inert mechanism made of wood, iron, and ropes. It seems like a creature with some dark origin we cannot fathom, it is as though the framework sees and hears, the mechanism understands, as though the wood and iron and ropes have their own will. In the hideous nightmare it projects across the soul, the awful apparition of the scaffold fuses with its terrible work. The scaffold becomes the accomplice of the executioner; it devours, eats flesh, and drinks blood. The scaffold is a sort of monster created by judge and carpenter, a spectre that seems to live with an unspeakable vitality, drawn from all the death it has wrought.”

–Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

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In which a gun-hugging bootlicker pwns herself…

…over and over…

…and over again:

You know it’s a sad day for the far right when even the boots have no use for this silly bootlicker.

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Posted in Cops Behaving Better, Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Guns, Guns, Guns, Isn't It Ironic?, Schadenfreude, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on In which a gun-hugging bootlicker pwns herself…

Donnie’s impeachment trial: Oh, it is ON, baby.

And here is the formal handover of the articles of impeachment (only two, alas, out of so many more there could have been, but they’ll have to do):

The real action starts 18 minutes in, if you’re wondering (and don’t have much time to sit through the preamble).

More to come tomorrow. Stay tuned.

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't That Impeachable?, Law-Law Land, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Donnie’s impeachment trial: Oh, it is ON, baby.

Music for a Sunday: A shot of coffee to stimulate

Yes, I know this is late. So listen to it before your morning commute, why don’t you?

I never knew there was a video for this great (and underrated) song. Much less one with so much glorious art-school weirdness about it. But here you go, and now you know.

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Wile E’s grody pickle

This is just….EWWWWW.

But I guess it’s entirely par for the course if you’re such a sickeningly insecure “alpha male” as our Suuuuuuper-Genius, whose pride and joy is his badly parked gas guzzler.

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Posted in Barreling Right Along, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Environmentally Ill, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't That Illegal?, Sick Frickin' Bastards, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Wile E’s grody pickle